Our Story
by newbe1
Summary: Ok so I thought I would try something a little bit different with this story, I'm doing little snap shots of Olivia and Amanda's points of view which will all tie up at the end.


**Ok so I thought I would try something a little bit different with this story, I'm doing little snap shots of Olivia and Amanda's points of view which will all tie up at the end.**

 **Anyway, I hope its enjoyed and makes sense.**

 **Amanda **

Every morning for years she's walked past me leaving that scent trailing behind her, the scent I have now come to recognise as a mix between vanilla and spices, I can't help but inhale deeply and let my eyes follow her as she makes her way through the bullpen. When she's out of sight as if by a natural occurrence I close my eyes and let out a small sign and relish in the hypnosis that is Olivia Benson.

Over the years we've had a contentious relationship, snipping at one another and never seeing eye to eye. But through everything she has been my one consistency the one thing I can always count on, sure it's not a conventional relationship and most of the time we aren't even that close but we do have our moments.

Sometimes when she looks at me with those deep chocolate eyes it's like she has a fire burning within them and it captives me, I feel she's staring into my soul and is reading everything I'm trying to keep hidden. Maybe she feels this too.

But then I chalk that down to my wishful thinking.

* * *

 **Olivia**

When she first joined SVU I wasn't as receptive to her ideas and opinions that I should have been. She came in this intelligent, bright and enthusiastic detective with a personality to match and I will honestly admit she infuriated the hell out of me.

As the years have went on I have begun to admire her not only as a great detective but as an amazingly beautiful person with a zesty personality and I feel myself being drawn to her more and more every day.

I remember the first time we went under-cover together at a sperm bank, I put my hand on top of hers and it felt like little sparks of electricity jolting through me and the way she looked at me with those blue eyes no one had ever looked at me like that before, with the intensity she did.

I catch her sometimes looking at me and I can't help but wonder if she sees us as maybe more than a work colleagues also. Neither of us having the courage to tell the other how we feel, we just let the lingering looks continue.

* * *

 **Amanda**

As she made her way up the ranks the possibility of us being more than work colleagues moved further and further out of reach. As much as I love her I wouldn't let her put her job at risk, she's worked so hard to get to where she is today. I will just stick to looking at her from afar and dreaming of a time where Olivia Benson could be with me.

After everything that she went through with Lewis I have watched her grow from strength to strength as she banished the darkest demons he left her with.

When she found baby Noah it was the happiest I ever seen her, you just need to see the two of them together to know they belong with one another. He is an absolute credit to her he's such a good little boy.

She is of course a wonderful mother; I listen to her when she talks about him or when she looks at his photograph on her desk, she lights up and it's the most beautiful thing you will ever see. I fall deeper in love with her every day.

* * *

 **Olivia**

I feel like I could sit and day dream about her all day, when she first told me she was pregnant I found myself becoming more and more protective over her I would find any opportunity I could to get her what she needed, make sure she was eating enough and taking good care of herself and the bump, I wanted to be her support network.  
As I watched her getting bigger and bigger I couldn't help but feel sad that I wasn't there to share the experience with her, getting up at 3am when she was raiding the kitchen cupboards trying to satisfy her cravings or running to find a take away for her in the pitch darkness of night when she was hungry. I would have done anything to be the one she comes to tell the baby is kicking.  
The day Jessie was born I have never felt more proud of Amanda than I did at that minute, I knew she would be a fantastic mum.

I look out of my office window at her now and all I want to do is tell her how I feel but I know it would put both our jobs at risk. If we were together I don't know that I could send her out on calls knowing she could be in danger. I couldn't do my job properly and I know if I tried to deny her the chance to do her job it would push us apart.

God I wish I could tell her how much I love her.

* * *

 **Amanda **

Since I had Jesse we've been getting closer she's been my rock, when Jesse had really bad colic she came over with some medicine she stayed and paced the floor with her, just so I could get some sleep.

What I really love is when we take the kids to the park or the zoo, I get to see Olivia in her relaxed state all the stress and ugliness of our work just seems to fade away.  
Jesse and Noah get on so well together, he acts like a protective big brother always making sure she's alright, my heart still melts when I think about the last time we were in the park Jesse had dropped her ice cream and Noah gave her his without question. I know she could never feel the same way about me as I do her but I love the feeling of being family even if it is just for a few hours.

Both Olivia and I laugh when we watch them sometimes, they fight like brother and sister then make up just as fast. It's comforting to watch, we may never be a proper family but at least they have a bond and long may it continue.

We still have the odd workplace spats but nothing compared to what it used to be and due to the stressful nature of the job its only to be expected, if I'm honest I wouldn't change that passion we both have its what makes us good at our jobs.

* * *

 **Olivia**

I call Amanda into my office, I've just been notified that Endless Truth have posted photos online of her and Jesse and one of Noah and I. I see the panic stricken look in her face and I instantly wrap her up in my arms and place gentle kisses on the side of her head. This isn't the first time we've shared a comforting hug but it's the first time both of us have been sobbing, the emotion has taken over both of us and we stand there in my office not caring if the blinds are open or who sees, in that moment we're both mums who are worried sick about our children. As I pull away I put my lips to her forehead, and then look deep into those blue watery eyes and I tell her not to worry, the kids are on their way here with Lucy under police protection.

As we send out babies off to stay with Lucy's mum I fight all of the urges I have to go shoot the bastard in between the eyes.

Things go from bad to worse we've just been told readers are posting threats about our children online, I watch Amanda's face turn ghostly white and I can feel the colour draining from mine. An overwhelming anger floods me, that's it no one will threaten my family…this ends now!

It's been a hard slog and a gruelling few days but eventually the case has ended and we get our precious kids back. I sit at home later that night just watching Noah play I don't know how long I've been sat here but its never felt as good to watch something which would normally seem so mundane. Suddenly my thoughts turn to Amanda wondering how she's coping and all I want to do is curl up on the sofa lock the door and not let the three of them out of my sight, I scoop Noah up and tell him we're going to get our family together.

* * *

 **Amanda **

After the past few days I've had I can't switch off and I can't stop thinking about the what ifs and maybes. Jesse's cries halts me in my tracks, I look up at the clock and realise I've been watching her sleep for the past two hours, I pick her up and hold her close breathing her in and whisper gently telling her none will ever hurt her and that's a promise.

I'm just in the process of sitting her in her high chair ready to give her some dinner when there's a knocking at the door. I can't believe my eyes when I see Olivia and stood with Noah wrapped in her arms asleep, I don't even have time to get a hello out before her nervous ramblings begin and she makes her declaration of love to me. I'm about to open my mouth when I feel the door behind me open further then I see the look of hurt, confusion and embarrassment on her face as Carisi appears at the door frame with a squirming Jesse in his arms.

I'm rendered speechless I want to tell her it's not what she thinks I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Before I know it she's making her excuses and walking into the elevator, my feet are planted firmly to the ground and I can't move I feel like I'm concreted to the spot. I'm dragged out of my shock when Jesse lets out a wail I do want to go after her but Jesse needs me.

After Carisi had gone home I try calling her but she doesn't pick up, I've waited so long for this moment then I go and blow it I mean usually you can't shut me up but tonight I can't explain it I froze. If it wasn't so late Id have lifted Jesse and been banging her door down, telling her how much she means to me as well.

I walk into the squad room early the next day hoping to get a chance to speak to her, I have a whole speech planned out and I'm going over what I want to say in my head but I'm knocked out of my thoughts when I see Fin in Olivia's office sat in her chair.

I knock on the open door and ask where Olivia is that's when Fin tells me she's transferring out apparently she can't take anymore and it's time for a fresh start. I feel like the stuffing has been knocked out of me, I can't breathe my heart is pounding out of my chest and I think I'm going to collapse. I beg him through hysterical tears to tell me where she's going, praying that I will get the chance to tell her that I am in love with her and I need her like I need oxygen.

* * *

 **Olivia**

I grab our bags and I lift Noah from the back seat of the cab putting his small rucksack on his back; he takes my hand as we walk into the airport and he looks up at me with his big brown eyes and a wide smile on his face. This is the first time he's been on an aeroplane and I feel slightly guilty that we haven't done this before and it's taken me running away to let him experience this. I think he's going to burst with excitement as he jumps up and down while chatting nonstop about flying in the clouds.

I myself don't feel quite as excited I feel complete and utter despair and sadness, I can't believe I missed my chance with her, I can't be selfish and hold it against her she deserves to be happy even if it not with me. I'm heartbroken but I love her too much to begrudge her a chance of love.

After I check our bags I pick Noah up and tickle him I tell him we're going to have so much fun on our adventure, I can't help but smile at him as he pulls his sunglasses on to his face and squeals in excitement as I show him an aeroplane out of the window.

We board the plane, Noah and I take our seats he's sat at the window telling me he can see the wings while I fasten our seatbelts I tell him when we are in the sky he will be able to see the lights flashing which earns me a big grin. I lean down placing a kiss on his head as he snuggles into his teddy and we start reading his book. The plane begins to fill up people are walking up and down the aisle putting their bags into the overhead locker, I keep reading hoping Noah will go to sleep for the journey.

* * *

"Mam could you take your seat we're getting ready to move now."

Olivia stops reading and looks up to her right wondering who the air steward is talking to, "Amanda...?"

"Olivia please don't leave last night wasn't what you thought..." She's out of breath and scarlet from running to find Olivia, all while carrying Jesse who is now fussing in her arms. This isn't how she wanted to start this conversation she wanted to be calm but instead everything was blurted out in a rushed half panting sentence.

"Leave?" Olivia isn't quite sure what's going on right now hell she's not even sure if this is real maybe she fell asleep and this is a dream.

Noah decides to look up from the book his mum has stopped reading, "Jesse!" he screams elated to see the little girl "you come on holiday too?" as he begins to bounce in his seat and clap his hands excitedly.

Olivia is sure she isn't dreaming when Jesse propels herself out of her mother's arms and lands on her lap as she clambers over to get to Noah.

"A holiday?! Fin told me you were leaving." She smiled as the realisation then hits, "He set this up to get us together." Fin was always an intuitive guy, and she loved him for it.

A more than slightly annoyed air steward makes an appearance again "Mam would you _please_ take your seat your _holding_ up the plane."

Olivia holds her hand out and smiles up at Amanda "Well Amanda what do you say?"

"Sure, I could do with getting away." Taking the hand she sits down next to Olivia her face still red only this time with embarrassment as she can feel the surrounding eyes staring at her.

"I can't believe you chased me down, but why did you?" Olivia keeps Jesse on her lap as she attaches the seatbelt extender around her.

"Simple...because I love you and I couldn't bear to let you leave." Tears were making their way down Amanda's face. "Liv, about last night Carisi came over to check on us then he made dinner."

"I really thought you two had gotten together, that's why I had to get away." Olivia cupped Amanda's face as she thumbed away the tears and kissed her gently on the lips. "I love you too."

Amanda laced their fingers together and brought there joined hands to her lips and kissed them.

* * *

 **2 Weeks later**

Both women walked through the baggage collection Olivia was carrying a sleeping Jesse and Amanda was carrying Noah who was starting to nod off as well, a member of staff began to approach them with a smile on her face "Amanda, I see you managed to get to your wife before the plane left?"

"Oh god" she mumbled under her breather as she felt Olivia looking at her, Amanda stuttered slightly "Yes Suzie, thank you for everything you done to help me." They exchanged smiles as they walked away.

Amanda turned to look at Olivia who had stopped walking, "Your wife, huh?" She smirked with an eyebrow raised.

She wasn't sure whether to cringe or laugh it off so she decided to go straight down the middle with an obvious answer that probably wouldn't even warrant response "Well I had to say something to get through the check in."

"Since you're already telling people I'm your wife it seems only natural we make it official, what do you say…Will you marry me?"

"Yeah we could do." grinning as Olivia swatted her arm "Of course Ill marry you!" She walked over and kissed her "Have I told you how much I love you Olivia Benson?"

Amanda and Olivia walked into this airport as two single mums and two weeks later they walk out arms wrapped around each other a family of 4.


End file.
